Smells Like: Greta’s tears, solar panels, and flat tires Size: 4 oz - 9 oz | Burn Time: Until your carbon credits run out
Product Description: Light this candle and bask in the smug glow of climate hysteria. Climate Cult delivers a pungent mix of virtue signaling and government overreach, with earthy undertones of recycled nonsense and a faint trace of Chinese manufacturing.
Top notes of Greta’s angry speeches, middle notes of paper straws disintegrating in oat milk, and a strong base of “YOU can’t fly, but John Kerry just landed in his private jet.”
This candle is so woke, it tried to cancel your gas stove.
Perfect For:
Guilt-tripping your guests while charging your Tesla on coal-fired electricity
Virtue signaling on Instagram stories
Burning while crying about cow farts and ignoring the CCP
Warning: Emits nothing harmful, except hypocrisy.
Product features - Eco-friendly and non-toxic: Vegan and free from harmful substances. - Reusable glass vessel: Clean and repurpose as stylish decor. - Diverse scent profiles: Choose from oceanic, cozy, and exotic fragrances. - Safe and high-quality materials: Crafted with natural soy wax and cotton wicks. - Made in the USA: Assembled from globally sourced parts and compliant with safety standards.
Care instructions - Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.
